live your dreams

for the majority of my life i had the attitude that you should always chase your dreams, no matter the cost. i believed that if youre heart was true and your passion was great, then nothing could stop you from living life on your terms. and although i still believe that all this is true, life has shown me where the battles and the exceptions are. 


so, over 10 years after my dreams left me stranded in the middle of nowhere, with no way back and nothing to guide me, i think its time i revise and update my thoughts on living life and chasing dreams.

i'll start with this: i still believe in the idea of chasing your dreams and living life on your own terms. i believe those are the only ways to truly find yourself. i believe those are the only ways you can experience the world honestly and in-corrupted. i believe the only way to honestly give back and to truly contribute to something greater in life is to live on the terms you decide, and to share the dreams you are living. 

in order to do this you have to take huge risks  in your life. any compromise corrupts the outcome. so, when your parents, or any other adult, pressures you to conform to societal standards, you have to give them the big middle finger. dont listen. dont let them scare you into accepting normal standards as your own. dont let them shame you or influence you. living your dreams is not a compromise. your life is not a compromise.

this is what i believe. but just over 10 years ago i was hit by a force known as reality. learned one valuable lesson: that reality exists because of the majority. and you cant do anything about it. if the majority where people who believed like me, then living your dreams would be the reality. people who are able to live and maintain their lives and dreams are not able to because they possess something you do not. they are able to because they have somehow managed to dodge the destruction of reality.  the longer they dodge, the more ground they gain until they become semi-permanently fixed in their ideal life. thats not to say that reality cant take it all away. it just takes much more destructive power for reality to do that. so the goal is defiance, defiance, defiance, until you get a good grip and are secure in your place in life.

sometimes, probably most times, this doesnt work. with me, i was hit by the weakest of reality, but it was one after another until defiance was no longer an option. THIS is where my belief, standards and ideals need to change. how do i marry these same ideals with an undeniable reality? for some, its easy to do. for me, its been hell. but if i am to move on in life, i need to figure this out. because for some people, like myself, getting a shitty job and living a mundane life is not going to happen. excuse or not, i simply dont know how to do that. i dont know how to care about those things. i dont know how, or if, they can make me happy.